


exit strategy

by ubik



Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: M/M, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Ideation, the teen rating is for discussion of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:32:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6938008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ubik/pseuds/ubik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What the hell is this?” Stan glared at Rick, gesturing to the contents of his duffel bag. “What the fuck do you need all these pills for?”</p><p>“It’s an exit strategy.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	exit strategy

**Author's Note:**

> Rick and Stan have a conversation about Rick's suicidal feelings.

“What the hell is this?” Stan glared at Rick, gesturing to the contents of his duffel bag. “What the fuck do you need all these pills for?”

Rick laughed, but it betrayed an edge of anxiety. “Jesus, man, calm down. This is just some … stuff, that I carry with me in case – ”

“In case what?”

“In case I need them.”

“What the hell would you need – what the hell is this?” Stan picked up a bottle and examined it. “Thorazine? What the hell do you need Thorazine for?”

“It’s an exit strategy.”

Stan threw the bottle at the bag. “That better not mean what I think it means.”

“Hey, chill out, buddy. I was having a good time, we were both having a good time, why don’t we just – just forget about this whole thing, mmkay?” Rick reached out towards Stanley, but he brushed his hand off.

“I’m not forgetting about this until you explain what’s going on.”

Rick sighed, and in an exasperated voice said, “Fine, since you need every - everything spelled out for you, I, I, I will. These pills are in case I feel like leaving this shitty earth behind. Look, it’s no big deal, okay? I just like to be prepared for –”

“For what, Rick? What kinda situation would require you to kill yourself? It’s not like you’re some fucking top secret spy who has to die with your secrets or some shit.”

“It’s like I said, I just like to be prepared, okay?” Rick was still smiling, but his voice indicated otherwise.

“But why –”

Rick’s voice grew tense. “I want to – to, t– die, okay? Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t alive, so I think about it and plan about it and – and – and fantasize about it in case one day I actually work up the guts to do it, okay?”

Neither of them spoke for a moment.

“Now if we’re done talking about our _feelings_ , I’m gonna have a drink,” Rick said, pulling out a flask.

“But why, Rick?”

“God, I can’t believe you’re this stupid, I just fucking told you –”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it. I know why you have the pills. What I want to know is why you want to die in the first place.”

“What are you, some kinda shrink or something?” Rick took another gulp.

“I know we fight, but is our relationship really this bad?”

“Typical Stanley Pines, making this all about you. Has it occurred to you that my life doesn’t revolve around you?”

“If this relationship is gonna work, we have to talk to each other, Rick.”

“Jeez, man, don’t get all suburban mom on me.” Rick reached out to take another sip, but Stan slapped the flask out of his hands.

“That doesn’t help and you know it. You can’t keep running forever.”

“Yeah? Well you – you – your one to talk, Stan. Like your whole life isn’t just running from one failure to the next. At least, at least I chose this life. You only ended up this way ‘cause you couldn’t do anything else.”

Stanley’s hand curled into fists as he bit his tongue. It took all his strength not to tell Rick to fuck off, but Stan had to keep his calm if he was going to at least try to help him.

“Please, Rick. Just talk to me for once. I want to help.”

Rick laughed. “Oh, yeah. You’re very skilled at that, aren’t you. You, you can’t even help yourself.”

“The same could be said of you.”

“Ouch. Cutting insults over here.”

“Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong is you won’t quit bugging me.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Okay you know what?” Rick threw his hands up into the air, which once again contained the flask that Rick had grabbed back from Stan. “I’ve done this before, Stan. The whole ‘talking about your feelings’ shtick? That whole ‘working it out’ thing? I’ve done it and it didn’t do jack shit for me, okay? I’ve taken the pills and I’ve seen the shrinks and it’s still me! Still Good Ol’ Fucked Up Rick, okay? So if you want me to be someone else you should just – just – just find someone else, then! Okay?”

Stan didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry.”

“’Sorry’ doesn’t do shit. ‘Sorry’ is useless.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I don’t want you to say anything, Stan, and if your head wasn’t stuck up your ass you’d know that.”

“If your head wasn’t stuck up your ass, Rick, you’d know that I love you.”

“Love is a useless concept. It – it ties people down and –”

“I love you, and I want you to be happy.” Stan took a step forward.

“Yeah, well, I’m not happy, so you can leave or whatever. Find yourself a nice stable, boring boyfriend who won’t just fuck you but will hold your hand afterwards, too.”  


Stan wrapped an arm around Rick. “I don’t want a nice, normal stable boyfriend,” he said. “I want you.”

Rick avoided eye contact, but he began to smile. “Well, then you’re an idiot, Stanley Pines.”

He grabbed Stan’s hand. “A stupid, mushy idiot.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic I've posted here! Hope you like it.


End file.
